Do not taunt 3rd party patching…

Happy fun ball

3rd party patching!

-only $14.95-

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to 3rd party patching.
Caution: 3rd party patching may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
3rd party patching contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use 3rd party patching on concrete.

Discontinue use of 3rd party patching if any of the following occurs:

  • Itching
  • Vertigo
  • Dizziness
  • Tingling in extremities
  • Loss of balance or coordination
  • Slurred speech
  • Temporary blindness
  • Profuse sweating
  • Heart palpitations

If 3rd party patching begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. 3rd party patching may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, 3rd party patching should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration…

Failure to do so relieves the makers of 3rd party patching, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of 3rd party patching include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

3rd party patching has been shipped to our troops in Iraq and will also be dropped by our warplanes on Iran.

Do not taunt 3rd party patching.

3rd party patching comes with a lifetime guarantee.

3rd party patching

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

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