Marketing spins world into the apocalypse…

I receive a lot of ‘noise’ in my inbox, most of it I ignore but this little beauty from the folks at IDGconnect is a classic example of marketing run riot – “According to recent studies, spyware is now the fourth biggest threat to corporate IT security. Or, as we prefer to say, it’s the fourth horseman of the security apocalypse – galloping across your network at this very moment with its pals the hacker, the trojan, and the virus”.

Some folks have been blog-debating vendor interity, crappy sales tactics, marketing nonsense, and the importance of the analyst community. Their relative chest thumping aside, when you see stuff like this you just have to wonder…anyway here is my own list of lesser known signs of the apocalypse or security predictions for 2007 (with apologies to Dave Letterman)

10. Microsoft release Vista on time

9. Oracle adopts Googles “we will do no evil” slogan and shortly thereafter invades a 3rd world country to expand Ellisons’ office space

8. China implements an open-internet policy, inviting free and unmoderated thinking to occur in a wide-audience

7. Microsoft and Cisco partner to make us more secure, 15 year old skript-kiddies everywhere cringe in horror.

6. NAC/NAP hybrid worm traverses internet bringing networks to their knees, except for everyone who avoided the hype

5. CA acquires McAfee

4. Microsoft acquires CA (that’s California not the company previously known as computer Associates)

3. Dick Cheney has his identity stolen by unnamed government official, Pork skins, cowboy boots, and country music sales increase 45%

2. Terrorists carry-out mass-attack against US food service industry by implanting beef with nano-weaponry – Combined US body fat drops 60%

1. Google hires a group of gypsy psychics rendering financial, industry and market analysis firms irrelevant.


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